The roots are deep. The covenant is solid. The love is sweet. Life is hard. And God is good.
What We’re About:
Covenant Couples Ministry is dedicated to Biblical instruction specifically in regards to the covenant of marriage. We aim to improve and restore marriages through the Bible by making husbands and wives aware of their divine responsibilities to God and to each other. Our foundational belief on marriage is this: it is God’s doing. We know this because it was His design in creation (Genesis 1:27-28; Genesis 2:18). God personally gave away the first bride in marriage (Genesis 2:22). He spoke the design of marriage into existence (Matthew19:4-5), and institutionalized marriage (Genesis 2:24).
HUSBAND & WIFE
Husband and wife fulfill distinct and equal roles. God’s design for marriage begins with submission by the husband. He willingly stops trusting himself and instead trusts God with his life, loving and leading his wife accordingly. They live as one together under God’s authority with unified purpose. The Bible teaches that the relationship between husband and wife is to portray the relationship between Christ and His church. Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Jesus loves the Church (Ephesians.5:25); they are to model the humble, loving, sacrificial leadership of Christ (which guards against chauvinism). And the wife is to model the glad submission shown by the church, by following their husband’s leadership. The husband’s submission to Christ results in the wife’s willingness to submit to him as the leader of the home. She knows she can trust God which frees her to trust her husband as she sees his life under the authority of Christ. The most explicit texts relating directly to the roles of husbands and wives in marriage are: Ephesians 5:21-33; Colossians 3:18-19; 1 Peter 3:1-7; Titus 2:5; 1 Timothy 3:4, 12; Genesis 1-3.
Christian husbands are called by God to a radical, self-denying, spiritual leadership for the good of their wives. Husbands are to love and respect their wives martially, physically, emotionally, verbally, financially, practically, parentally, and spiritually. To be the head of the home is a great responsibility. This means husbands need to lead by thinking more highly of their wife than they do of themselves. They need to put their wife’s interests before their own, just like Christ did for them. Husbands, your wife is trusting you with the rest of her life—that you won’t hit her, cheat on her, that you’ll work hard to provide, that you’ll love your children, that you’ll finish the race well, that you’ll walk with Jesus until the end, that if she gets sick, you’ll look after her, that if she is dying, you will be faithful to her. Gentlemen, it is a terrifying thing for a woman to trust a sinful man.
Words of advice:
- Erroll Hulse: Headship is not a ticket to privilege but a charge to responsibility.
- John Piper: If you want to be a Christian husband, you become a servant, not a boss.
- John MacArthur: The Christian husband displays what he thinks of Christ by the way he treats his wife.
- R.C. Sproul: When the New Testament speaks of the church’s glory, it is speaking of its dignity. By analogy, the husband is called to give himself to the purpose of establishing his wife in the fullness of dignity. When he uses his authority to destroy his wife’s dignity, he becomes the direct antithesis of Christ. He mirrors not Christ but the Antichrist.
- Martin Luther: The Christian is supposed to love his neighbor, and since his wife is his nearest neighbor, she should be his deepest love.
The Christian wife’s divine calling is to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts. When her husband isn’t leading well, she encourages him prudently with the Gospel in love and respect, in order to help him grow and lead in righteousness, so that her disposition to honor his lead can again produce harmony. She does not succumb to manipulation in an attempt to take charge; rather she patiently demonstrates the Gospel virtues through her actions and words. She offers her strengths to complement her husband’s areas of weakness. She supports him in his God-appointed role and influences him spiritually, primarily, through fearless tranquility, holiness and prayer. She contributes her gifts and creativity to maximize their marriage and their family’s effectiveness at home and for the Gospel. She recognizes Christ to be her absolute authority. She submits to her husband “out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21) trusting that he himself is submitting wholly and uncompromisingly to Christ.
His leadership doesn’t mean:
- A husband is in ultimate authority.
- A wife does not have independent thoughts.
- A wife does not seek to influence her husband.
- A wife must follow her husband’s leading of sin.
- A wife is less intelligent or competent than her husband.
His leadership does mean:
- A husband and wife are equal with complementary roles.
- Wives are to submit like Jesus did in Gethsemane (Luke 22:42).
- Wives should be lead like the church is lead by Jesus (Ephesians 5:25).
What We Do
The Covenant Couples gather quarterly throughout the year for events such as our Lovers Retreat, L.I.F.E Workshop, Committed Seminar, and Couples Boot Camp. We spend time with other couples in fellowship and in prayer—we hear God’s Word taught, and wrestle with what God is teaching us. Through Biblical instruction we aim to improve and restore marriages. We spend time doing Q&A as well as confession and repentance to go deeper—to share our lives together and walk together as we follow after Jesus.
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